Ratzafratz

Some people come to the mall to sit on their lazy bones and while away the day. I come to get my blood pumping, shake my fist at the sky and say “I’m not done yet”.

There are several distractions to mall walking including slow moving, window shopping, lookie loos and rambunctious older gentlemen who think they got what it takes to catch my eye.

I just have one thing to say to them. Please Stay to the Right!

Another distraction is the little furry vermin that run around thinking that they own the place.

Now, I’ve been catching rats, since before a president who your dad doesn’t even remember, was in office. They just better watch out, cause if I get close enough…

Take care, Sweetie.

Gladys, Mall Walker for Life

Working a part time job at the ‘Cookie Nook’ in the mall is the most horrible job in the entire world.

I was, like, working the other day and some old guy comes in and tells me how great cookies were when he was a kid and now they’re not.

In the meantime, the buzzer is going off in the back, cause the Butter Spritz are done and starting to burn.

Worst of all, my boss told me I can’t use my cell, just because some customer had to wait, like, ten seconds when I finished a call.

Life is so unfair,

Miranda, teen clerk at the Cookie Nook.

Ps. Oh yeah, sometimes we have rats!

Pps. I put the phone on vibrate, so it’s still OK to call [Read more…]

My name is C. Rank, head of Mall Security.

Some inhabitants of the mall refer to me as Crank.

Anyone using this term will be banned from the mall for a period of one month. This is to give the perp time to think about disrespecting an officer of the mall.

I’m on patrol everyday looking for certain rodent infestations.

Any help by a civilian, such as yourself, resulting in the capture of the pest, will get a free cookie from the Cookie Nook or twenty minutes in the massage chair at Bling and Chachki’s.

If you see a rat in the mall, DO NOT ATTEMPT TO APPREHEND IT! These animals are cunning. Alert mall security immediately.

I have attached renderings of myself, so that you can easily identify me, if the situation were to arise.

That is all,

C. Rank

Ps. Have a good day.

Eeee blabla cuorrinnni con rhuuuummba Raaazzzffrrzz. (I’m starring in a cartoon with my roommates called Ratzafratz!).

EEEiiiiioooo Mnnnnnn ba plpllayycrrddd. (I like to eat cardboard, don’t you?)

Miooooo Popo Zowie Flam Kickaz. (Don’t my poses rock?)

Cheeeeoooowwww, (Later)

Squuuueewwk (Squawk)

I was unsure, at first, if I had what it takes to be in a Frederator short. Then my best buddy Urban told me, Uhh I mean, convinced me that we are bound by toon ethics to bring smiles to the young and young at heart everywhere.

I’ll do my best not to let you and everyone else in the whole wide world down.

Here are my first dramatic poses for the cinema.

I’m kinda cool, don’t you think?

Cyrus

Ps. I’m not a loser, whatever Urban says.

So I agreed to be in this Frederator Ratzafratz! short, cause these two yahoo’s offered me some grub. Make no mistake, it’s my star quality that will make this toon shine, so don’t be crowding me when it’s time for chow.

Like my poses, ya losers?

Urban

Hey Heprats,

Cyrus, Urban and Squawk get down to the warm sounds that get around.

Everything old is new again and vinyl is a good way to blast back into time.

To add to the glory of the sounds within, the inspired artwork of the covers is art.

Cyrus likes the sounds, Urban likes the art and Squawk likes the taste.

Explore the warmth. Search your attic or ask someone who is in the know. Garage sales and flea markets are calling you.

The Ratzafratzers